Busy

mum unsympathetically woke me up at 5.30am just to ask me redundant questions like what time my brother is going for his camp.. she could wake the boy up and ask him instead of me right? what more, i slept past 2am last night and i can barely open my eyes when she was talking to me. and i wouldnt be surprised if later mum complained about how rude i was when i talked to her. i get real mad when people wake me up and i tend to yell instead of mumble especially when im goddamn sleepy.

so anyway, today is going to get real busy. i got to make a trip to NUH and collect my 3 weeks Medical Certificate which they failed to hand to me 2 weeks ago. F*ck man. then gotta get down to kallang to settle some bike stuff and visit my boyfriend. then imma go home and catch up on some sleep. this is exactly why i cannot live on public transport no matter how much friends tell me that i can ‘wash my eyes’ in the buses and trains. firstly, theres nothing to wash because boys who take public transport ……. . secondly, even if they’re cute, so? no matter how cute they are, you’ll get sick just looking at them throughout the whole journey unless their name is jason mraz. thirdly, nothing cute about matreps with tattoos all over their body and the minahreps by their side totally disgust me especially those who forget to shave their underarms and boobs bursting out of their tank tops.. and the peak hour rush? my goodness. cannot take it sia. im so much happier last time when i was on the road washing eyes looking at class2 bikes and smiling like a cuckoo-kia each time an R6 whoosh by.. and it didnt help the fact that the rider looks so kewl in full-face. WOO. then can also wash eyes on gileras.. ok, im not helping myself. still got 4 months to go on public. friends are going to have a hard time asking me out because imma be sooo fucken lazy to get my ass up and onto a bus seat.

eeee, i have been complaining and whining ever since …… k bye!

Halloween.

yeaa baby! halloween’s in few hours time so lets all partay tmr night!!! keke.

little brother’s gonna be off to camp tomorrow till sunday. ugh. i’ll feel so bored without him around and plus there’ll be no one to order around.. hehehe. nevermind, i shall watch the reruns of hanakimi on dvd. brother’s gonna be gone for ATC which brings back totally embarassing memories of when i was a recruit. eww la kayss.. i was sucha nincompoop.

im going out this saturday and that makes me really happy. like over the moon happy. im finally letting go of love. i know he’s gonna be in the good hands of a friend. btw, got the outcome of one case already. one down, one more to go. i can now heave a sigh of relief cos at least one burden’s off my shoulders. gonna go down to kallang tomorrow to settle some bike stuff. cant ride for another 4 months, i think. sheesh. sure sux like hell. at least someone else is willing to pay for my love so my pocket wont get burnt. guess love’s gonna get some revamp such as new exhaust pipe (think GPR!), side mirror change, black spray paint, brake and clutch change, tyres rim colour change, seat change.. woohoo!!

they don’t know how long it takes waiting for a love like this…

Complaints.

almost all of the important people in my life are busy. ain found a job, finally. mira is forever busy with teaching. sauf is busy with attachment. amsy and zreel busy with school. nadia is busy with school and work. apart from all this, almost all of them are attached which makes them more busy. too busy to even drop me a message. i know im being childish and irritating and not understanding.

got to meet up with nadia after school today. talking about school, reached campus late and because i was wearing cap, i didnt wanna enter the hall late and being so prominent with the cap on, i bet my prof would single me out and throw all his sarcasms at me. had the option of taking the cap off but hair was weird so yea. stayed outside the hall and waited till break time before sneaking in. heh heh. waited for nadia after dismissal and wanted to have teh tarik at alameen but ended up at toa payoh. ate, camwhored and drank tea at causeway point. separated later on as i had to go for tuition at marsiling and she wanted to go home. wanted to hitch a ride home from a friend but something cropped up and went home alone. tsk.

mum just nagged at me and what else can i do but to shut up. why is it so hard to please parents? i may not be the best daughter you’ve ever had, dear mum, but i sure as hell am trying my very best so give me more time man. you dont expect me to change overnight do you? if its wrong to talk back and if its wrong to shut up, what should i do? takle angs arr… haa…

sighs. sham just told me that both me and him born to be riders. that means i will never get the nice feeling of being sent home on big bikes by big boyfriend everyday. sighs. emo malam ni? ok set. nevermind, i dont mind being the rider. i rock la k. you stone. i will never give up riding la k. i live on yamaha la k. k bitches dont need jerks to fuck up their life any more than it already is la k. k so bitch, depend on yourself la k. so now left you and your bike la k. i was there for you when you called la k. but when i needed you, you werent there la k. and that made me bingets la k. but know why i didnt call you back? cos i cannot be bothered la k. now heck care attitude is the in thing la k. malas malas malas la k. lazy lazy lazy la k. now other than studies, bike, and friends who matters, i shall roll my eyes and say ”heck ah” to all other things and people who take me for granted (unless im bored enough then i’ll play along). bitchy? yeps, only to those who treat me like thrash. eee, where’s all these angst coming from? stress, i guess.

k bitch. log off now. stop rambling on and on. k bye.

In love, yes?

i have half the mind to say everything here but there’s something that’s holding me back and that is my conscience. for everybody’s sake, i’ll stay away.

and to those who read my blog, here’s a plea from me. READ PROPERLY. nothing here is overstated cos its just plainly my feelings. please know that i can be just as mean and nasty if i wanted to. but like ive said, i have a conscience.

and since ive decided to give no heck to all thats happening, dont push it.

ANYWAYS, HAVE I TOLD YOU IM IN LOVE? YES, VERY MUCH IN LOVE WITH LUCKY. alrite, gonna go for tuition.. at marsilingg.. hehehehe x) wazzat hehehehe for? iono. crazy bitch. stop typing and go get ready wouldya?! ok.

Twentieth

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME =)

hehe.

ok anyways, im too lazy to do a proper update about the birthday pit. just make do with the previous one. btw, im in love. in love with lucky by jason mraz feat colbie caillat. i reallllly cannot stand arrogant guys. (and i really cannot stand him.) serious shit. but somehow they (the arrogant guys) seem to be the one girls hanker after. why? i have no idea cos im certainly turned off. anyways, im not in the mood for love right now. and despite all the constant whingings about not having a boyfriend, im not looking for one. and i know im no grid girl so ditto that.

lucky you’re just a friend. and im certainly not going to like you even if you’re the last boy on earth. and im angry with myself for even caring about you. and i cannot stand you. and you wont know that because i wont let you and you dont know my blog!

thanks for all the birthday wishes from my usual cape crusaders (sauf, amsy, dan and hazreel), my two best friends (mira and ain), aziz for the early morning birthday call (or rather shout-out) from UK, shining for the early birthday wish from Adelaide, khairul for the birthday email from onboard ship, sham and julie and not forgetting my own elder sister oh and yea, you too for wishing me at exactly 1200am *rolls eyes*..

think ive mentioned all. so thank you all!

Deepest Appreciation

i just reached home around an hour ago!

well, yesterday was an early celebration to my birthday which was planned by dearest mum and aunt the day was almost ruined BUT the people who came later on in the evening really cheered me up!! i was eagerly waiting for the boys to come down when hazreel messaged saying that he’d forgotten to bring my gift. i rolled my eyes and replied him with one word, “ok”. HAHA. we spent some time eating and i felt bad because i had to shuffle between my relatives and the boys and altho i reallllly wanted to stick with the boys, i also realllly wanted to talk to my cousin whom i havent met for a gazillion years.. he is abang Is. he promised to get me a fucking vintage vespa! is he great or is he great?? haha.

when the crowd eased a little, i joined the boys again and we did serenade the night away. plus, amsy kept to his words and revealed the answer to his joke. its lame la ok but i loved it! all of us got a little hungry and we took a stroll to changi village to get some food and hunt for ehems. teehee. somehow or rather, i ended up looking at each of the boys fall asleep and they left me no space to sleep at all. and now i know how amsy looks like when he sleeps…….. likeeee wthhhh….. i guess my mickey mouse pillow was comfortable… hahah… sauf was the last to snooze off.. and iono how i fell asleep but i did… found the boys missing when i woke up and i still dont believe it when they said they tried waking me up.. liar liar pants on fire.. hehe.

alright, thats a reallly random account of what happened because im lacking sleep now. will blog a proper one with more pics later on… maybee laaa… so anw, hazreel promoted me to minahrep last night by presenting me with a topi tenggek as a birthday gift! well, thank you. now im a full fledged minahrep. kwangkwangkwang. i planned to don that cap each time i go out, just like hazreel

ok ok.. heres two pictures….

i really appreciate these four people for taking their time out to watch me grow up into a non-laughing, non-burping minahrep 20 year old girl their presence was undeniably the best thing last night. thanks for coming down guys!

and to mira, ain, adi, nad, and je’mapelle, your presence would have made it more kecoh but it was quite last minute and i couldnt get thru to all of you guys but i love you guys all the same kays

Riding.

since sham commented, i shall let that be the topic for this post. serik ke tak? entah lah eh.

mum asked me the same question yesterday and i kinda subtly told her that i wasnt. hehe. i did tell her i felt gerun when my friend sent me home the other night. but to say that i’ll ever stop riding is quite hmm… i dont really quite know how to say it but lets just say i got the bike bug and perhaps it runs in the family bloodline. all my uncles and male cousins are riders. guess the blood got into me instead of my other siblings. HEH. so yeaa.. i think that kinda answers whether or not im serik. serik tu serik uh.. serik enough not to risk my life on the road but not that serik enough to make me pack my riding gear and put it in adi’s house to collect dust. and sham, u damn eksyen k. takpe, kau keluar kan R6 nanti aku keluar kan R11 uh. R1 R6 R11 geddit? ha ha ha. ohYA. ADI, 60bucks k if you cant find that yohe with the yellow butterfly. HMPH. heheheh.

today is a girls’ day out with nad. met her at yck mrt. saw lotsa matreps from ite yishun and mintakampun.com. was too lazy to think of where to go and since its been a long time since i stepped foot in town, we decided to go there. stopped by rafflescity to surprise mai and mar. mai looked OHMYGEGEGEGAWD while mar looked OHMYGEGEGEGEGEGEGAWD. iono what that means but it means what it means. saw ariff and gigi on the way to doroperk and i couldnt quite comphrehend the comment that came out from ariff’s thin lips but i knew i wanted to give him one tight smackinthatass to his ….. ok go. im dead if he read this. the midseesawn (filipino accent if you get what i mean) sale was realllllly stale. doroperk’s was worse! sorry yarh, im no fashion guru but ….. ukwim.

ANYWAYYYSS, bought slip-ons from flash n splash and its quite flashy and splashy -_-? har har. and and and, i realise that im always wasting money on sanitary pads! each time i will forget to bring a spare to change just in case things get a little bloody and i will always end up buying a new pack! its sucha waste of money!!! and i actually bought tissue packets, those big ones. not as spare sanitary pads of cos! im suffering from sinus and one 20 pieces 2 ply tissue packets will never be enough!!

last but not least, today is not an emo day. unlike last-ter-day (credits: amsy) where i went all teary and mushy and feeling down-in-the-dumps where i ended up curling on my bed hugging the big bear and listening to moby’s ‘at least we tried’. damn i feel stooopeeeed. 

no money no honey. no love no glory. no ride no life.

i want to get back on the road soon (okaayyyy, maybe abit laterrrrrrr)…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

R6? ^_^

a penny for my thoughts..

..and none for yours..  ANYWAYS, im sitting down at home now. and im feeling bored. just a few days ago, i had company who were willing to layan my kerenah. they were the usual three boys. i dont actually recall why i felt down that particular day but im glad i had friends who cared enough to bring me to CAT1 to satisfy my craving for Popeye’s. i know mummy dont allow me to go out far but i was reallllllllly craving for their milk biscuits so jyeah.

after which i had tuition and hazreel suggested that i take 969. he claimed that 969 had lotsa mats at that hour but guess what??! NONE. there were 2 but both were attached. like o.O penipu haram seh hazreel. HAHA. slept in the bus all the way till woodlands interchange where i got a little lost looking for the 903 bus berth which i eventually realised was just opposite of me. i was late for tuition that night cos i cannot walk fast due to the healing toe and nerves. tsk.

i was really shagged from all the walking but luckily a friend was willing to sent me home despite telling me he was tired which i found out wasnt true cos he was just plain lazy to get his ass out of his house. pemalas seyy.. i think i do have abit of phobia of riding after the last accident.

ANYWAYS, i went to school yesterday and the lecturer is goddamn funny he made me laugh till my stomach hurt. the bus ride to school was undoubtedly the best bus ride i ever had because there were lotsa eye-candies and one of them happened to be in my class as i later realised! he was this chinese boy who wore a plaid shirt and long pants with shoes. alamak, i smiled la sia (not at him, duh!). even the lecturer called him ‘handsome boy’. haha. ok, this part memang im very gatal. why? cos i got no special someone to gatal with ok. so i can gatal k nad? haha. shuddup. 

i have a hospital appt this coming november. im so nervous. i hope the xray reveals some good news. i really wanna get well soon. and my damaged nerves? they are recovering (hopefully). i can now bend my ankle. im still limping tho. and im learning how to go down staircases now. gosh, this whole accident thing? its really sucky. it makes me realise how much i took myself for granted when i was well. after this, i promise myself to find a boyfriend who can takecare of me real good. err, hahha. nola! i promise to takecare of myself real good. no more such nonsense and no more worrying my parents. well, thats a big promise to keep but i’ll try. hee.

last but not least, i still wanna feel what its like riding yamahaR6. rider or pillion i dont mind so long i can rest my butt on the bike while it moves can already…… please someone? let this desperate injured girl ride your R6….. nyehehehehe… wateva sehh…

today’s entry very broken… hahaha… heck la.. i miss riding.. i miss my bike.. i miss my friends… i miss having a boyfriend.. i miss that ‘feel’ you get when you’re in love.. i miss my family..

sooo… i cant wait for this saturday… at least i’ll get to meet my cousins.. my favorite uncles and aunties… my parents and siblings are going to be there…. and my friends are going to be there… and DK is going to reveal all the answers to his jokes… and i hope they bring guitar so we can all serenade the night away… hehehe.

OH and the countdown is on. 4 more days to enjoy teenagehood after which as promised i’ll become more matured and serious and i wont laugh too loud or too much and i shall stop sputtering garbage all the time. hows that for turning twenty? HEHEHE. im lovin’ it. and I AM PROUD THAT THE GOVT DECLARED MY BIRTHDAY TO BE A PUBLIC HOLIDAY

yamahaR6 please? heh heh. fazer pun jadik la….

keke.

Love

Prior to the last accident, i was rarely seen at home. Now that I’m here at home all alone, I realised how much I missed having my mom by my side. I’ve been thinking alot about things (due to all the free time i have being immobile), ive come to realise how much I’ve hurt my mum both intentionally and unintentionally. The last thing I ever thought I’d do was to bring tears to my mom’s eyes but I did. I guess I suck. Both me and mom had a talk last week and for me, I always had something to say when mom lectures me. I’m just like that. I can never surpress my opinions. Only this time, I kept quiet. All I could offer her were my apologies. I had hurt my own mom much more than I thought I possibly could. I was holding back my tears but when mom said, “mama rela Tuhan kasi mama segala sakit yang ani rasa sekarang. kalau boleh, biarlah mama yang accident.” I broke down. I felt so sad. I never realised how much mom loves me till she said that. I never realised that underneath all the scoldings and lectures, she actually cares. I’ve always thought she favored my sister and brother to me. I was sorry I made her cry. I really was a wilful kid. I made a secret promise to myself to never ever lie to her again. I will try my best.

So, that kinda put me in a dilemma. I cannot give up riding.

Anyways, a mother’s love transcends all other love we have in this world. That’s something I’ve learnt from this whole ramadhan-syawal 2008. It may not be the best syawal I’ve had because I cannot go out and all but it’s got to be the syawal to remember. I now know how much my mom means to me and I also know how much I mean to my Mom and Dad. Mom told me that she’d never want to lose me and I know she meant it. It was the most sincere and loving “I’d never wanna lose you” i have ever heard. 

I love my Mom *everybody goes AWWW!*

But of course I’m still looking for that different love *winks* My friend told me last night “Awak gi carik matair la awak. Dalam sekolah tu takde satu orang pun ke nak dgn awak?!” Thanks uh awak..

yela.. aku ni siape.. saham dah turun lepas accident.. nyeheh.

Ohyes, back to the topic.. I’m now good girl who goes to school and goes home after that. I wouldn’t mind a short rendezvous to Al-Ameen for teh tarik with Nad tho. Or maybe coffee at Starbucks with Ain and Mira (they’re so busy with their mehboobies and work). And I definitely think mom wouldn’t mind me going to the gig at the garage nxt month if I’m fully healed. So, there’s alot in store for me after I get well  And maybe a potential movie date with someone. Ok, this part I perasan. HAHA.

K bye!

finally

finally, i felt what its like to wake up feeling happy

i guess im feeling happy because…………….i finally wouldnt be so bored today! hehe. well, theres nothing much to blog about the past few days because i basically did nothing. it’s a record of 12days that ive stayed home and i cannot believe it. i actually believe now that boredom can actually kill.

mum and dad spoke of him last night and i told them that we’ve lost all contact. haha.

well, this raya has been quite eventful what with me getting injured and walking on crutches and worrying the hell out of my parents. its a memory i’ll keep close to heart and to those who have been thru this tumultous period of time in my life with me, well, thank you.

thank you to adi and nadia who were there with me at the hospital, not once but twice.

thanks to dark knight, superboy and the lamb lady who were there to accompany me thru the phone all the time.

its a happy morning i must say.. well, i cant wait for khai’s return this november. and yeah, im spending my twentieth being injured… and my love? well, its still at the workshop. i havent sell it off!! hahaha!

i want yamaha R6……but not now. hehhh. ok ok… lets wait for the next hospital appt before i get my hopes up about my broken bone.

times when i needed you, you werent there. you are a jerk and thats that. dont try acting like a victim. cos it makes me sick to know that someone could be as vile as you are.

err, whats that for? or whos that for? for me to know and for you to find out *winks*

nth will ruin this good day